Review: Crystal Head Vodka
Not familiar with Crystal Head, which has been a boozing sensation for weeks now?
Watch this… then continue reading the review.
So there you go. This is vodka placed in a bottle that is shaped in the form of one of the infamous crystal skulls, which have become far better known now that they made an Indiana Jones movie about them.
Dan Aykroyd sells his spirit far better than I could, so I’ll leave it to him for the fine details. The digested selling points: Made in Newfoundland, Canada from local water; quadruple-distilled (from what I do not know; guessing wheat); triple filtered through “diamonds” (Herkimer Diamonds are actually quartz, alas; several brands already do quartz filtering); and bottled in an insane decanter in the shape of a skull.
A gimmick? Absolutely, but what a gimmick! What other spirit can make shout-outs to UFOs, ectoplasm, and other planes of existence and still leave you legitimately interested in what they’re selling? (It’s all so crazy that many people have assumed the whole thing to be a joke. I took my own photo of the freshly-frosted bottle just to prove that it is indeed the real deal.)
So let’s move on to the vodka itself. Crystal Head is familiar-tasting, 80 proof, and hardly earth-shattering in its composition, but overall very good. There’s an immediate vanilla punch that reminded me of the recently-reviewed 2 Rooz vodka. A bit chalky on the palate, it goes down extremely smoothly, with some sweetness and candy-like flavors on the tongue that immediately make one think of both dessert and ghosts. The finish is clean and crisp. There’s no medicinal flavor here at all. Really impressive.
Straight or with mixers, it’s a solid vodka. And though the whole thing feels like a put-on, what’s in the bottle is awfully impressive. The price is off-putting, but you’re paying for an eight-minute infomercial, after all.
While this vodka won’t likely “make true the things that you want to happen for yourself” (in fact, drink enough and the opposite is more likely to occur), it is categorically a damn good vodka and, if nothing else, perhaps the greatest conversation piece you can buy for your bar.
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