Rated D/F

Reviews of spirits, wine, and beer (and various errata like mixers and garnishes) comprise more than 80% of the content at Drinkhacker. This category is a catch-all for everything rated D+, D, D-, or F, our lowest rating. These products should be categorically avoided by everyone (and preferably discontinued altogether). On a five-star scale, these products would score 1.5 stars (for D+ ratings) or 1 star (for D, D-, and F ratings). On the traditional 100-point scale popular with many wine and spirits graders, these products would merit scores 68 or below.

Review: Master of Malt Whiskies, 2009 Releases

By Christopher Null | December 1, 2009 |

Master of Malt is a whisky and spirits merchant, and it’s also making its own line of spirits from privately bottled single malt scotches from all over Scotland — including at least one I’d never even heard of before. We sampled a solid five of these offerings, with results all over the proverbial map. Master…

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Review: Purista Instant Mojito Mixes

By Christopher Null | November 29, 2009 |

Premixed cocktails are always a dicey proposition, and Purista’s two new mixers probably aren’t going to win any overnight fans. Offering two spins on a theme — a traditional Mojito and a Blackberry Mojito — these mixes promise they are “hand-crafted” creations made with premium ingredients: In the case of the former, all-natural ingredients including…

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Review: Mini Chill and iChill “Relaxation Shots”

By Christopher Null | October 20, 2009 |

Energy is for sissies. The future is all about the chillax. Little two-ounce plastic shots filled with caffeine, taurine, and other ‘ines are all the rage, but the newer phenomenon is shots designed not to pump you up but to cool you down. Two boxes of these things arrived on virtually the same day, both…

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Review: Tribeca Light Pre-Mixed Cocktails

By Christopher Null | October 11, 2009 |

Pre-mixed, bottled cocktails that include alcohol continue to make a splash. Tribeca Light’s tactic: Do it all with a low-calorie approach; the label promises that a glass of a Tribeca-tail packs just half the calories of a standard cocktail. Naturally, some sacrifices may be in order… the promise of a “sophisticated taste in a natural…

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Review: FrostShot “The Frozen Liquor Shot”

By Christopher Null | May 10, 2009 |

Great googly moogly, how does one approach discussion of FrostShot? Put simply, it’s an Otter Pop with booze in it: A plastic tube filled with sugary goo which, when frozen, becomes like slushy ice. You squeeze it out directly into your mouth. Only Otter Pops can’t get you drunk. They also taste a lot better…

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Review: Fish Eye and Pinot Evil Boxed Wines, 2009 Releases

By Christopher Null | May 9, 2009 |

More and more producers are turning to boxes to move lots of product (they typically hold three liters vs. just 750ml of wine in a standard bottle) at rock-bottom prices. Here’s a look at two more offerings that use cardboard and plastic in lieu of glass and cork. 2008 Fish Eye California Pinot Grigio is…

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Book Review: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Bartending

By Christopher Null | December 25, 2008 |

While I was pleasantly surprised to find that the recent Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wine Basics was a credible and well-written introductory guide to the world of wine, another book from the Idiot’s series unfortunately bears little similarity. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Bartending, by Amy Zavatto, boasts 1,500 recipes on its cover, but sheer…

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Review: Hook & Ladder Golden Ale, Backdraft Brown, and Lighter

By Christopher Null | February 10, 2008 |

Across the northeastern U.S. you’ll find bars serving Hook & Ladder beer, products brewed by a company with roots in the firefighting biz: The founders are two brothers, one of whom is a volunteer fireman. The beers aren’t widely distributed west of Virginia, but if you should find one, you’re in for a treat. I…

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Review: Jones Soda Chanukah Pack 2007

By Christopher Null | November 21, 2007 |

As previously promised, here is your coverage of the flipside of the Jones Soda Christmas Pack: The Jones Soda Chanukah Pack, loaded with four bottles of pop: Apple Sauce Soda, Latke Soda, Jelly Doughnut Soda, and Chocolate Coins Soda, plus a plastic dreidel. Here’s how they stack up against the gentiles. Jones Soda Apple Sauce:…

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Review: Jones Soda Christmas Pack 2007

By Christopher Null | November 19, 2007 |

Yes, Virginia, there is life beyond Mountain Dew. Renown for its Turkey & Gravy and Brussels Sprouts carbonated concoctions released for the holidays, Jones Soda (motto: “I dare you.”) has come up with two new packs for 2007, one for Christmas and one for Chanukah, each containing four bottles of curiously holiday-flavored soda. In this…

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