Flying Embers is best known for making hard kombuchas, but it also produces hard seltzers and these canned cocktails, all made with zero sugar and zero carbs. Its unclear what these “cocktail inspired drinks” are made from, but it’s not distilled spirits and it’s not malt liquor. The labels sclaim “alcohol from organic cane sugar,” which is seemingly made through fermenting sugar instead of grain the way you’d make a beer. Either way, they are made with organic agave and real fruit juice while somehow keeping the sugar content at zero.

Let’s delve into this mystery via our mouths and stomachs, shall we?

Flying Embers Classic Lime Margarita – Not awful, but heavy on gummy cereal notes that make the flavors of tart ReaLime and bitter Sweet’N Low more difficult to truly enjoy. It sort-of tastes like a margarita, if you close your eyes and squeeze your brain really hard. 10% abv. C-

Flying Embers Strawberry Guava Margarita – An initial rush of guava does little to mask a powerful medicinal quality that comes on strong and lingers for ages — the strawberry element failing to make the appropriately fruity impact, hitting the tongue instead with a cough syrup pungency. It’s both bitter and extremely saccharine on the finish, and unrecognizable as a “margarita” in any way. I’m still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. 10% abv. D

Flying Embers Blood Orange Pomegranate Margarita – The blood orange element adds a touch of citrus but it’s not enough to cut through the industrial pungency in the mix. Big malt liquor notes rage soon after the touch of fruit fades, and ultimately this doesn’t really have much to distinguish itself from the Strawberry Guava version. 10% abv. D

Flying Embers Lime Mojito – Lots of lime, and lots of rough cereal character, though some industrial-strength mint on the nose at least makes you think about an actual mojito cocktail. Weedy and malty on the palate as it develops, rumbling its way toward that classic, saccharine finish. 8% abv. D+

Flying Embers Watermelon Mojito – Vaguely pink, which is the only thing that approaches watermelon in this beverage. Green, weedy, and rubbery, it tastes more like the wrapper to a watermelon Jolly Rancher than the candy inside. 8% abv. F

Flying Embers Mango Mojito – I did like the nose on this one, which is suitably tropical, if indistinctly “mango.” The palate however is gritty and tarry, much like its brethren, with a boldly herbal quality to finish that is maybe supposed to evoke mint? Could be worse. 8% abv. C-

each $24 per 12-pack / flyingembers.com

Flying Embers Lime Mojito

$24

2.5

Rating

2.5/10

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