Bourbon’s doing well. So well, in fact, that the Governor of the Commonwealth of Kentucky is serving Beam Black and donuts at a press conference praising the bourbon boom. So well that the Kentucky Agricultural Development Fund issued a 67 page report on Tuesday to celebrate its success. Just a few quick facts:

• Bourbon now contributes $3 billion in gross state product to Kentucky’s economy every year, up from $1.8 billion just two years ago, a 67 percent increase.
• More than 15,400 people owe their paychecks to the bourbon industry, compared to 8,690 in 2012, an increase of 77 percent.
• Barrel inventories are at their highest levels in 40 years, with more than 5.3 million aging currently in Kentucky.
• Production levels are up 53 percent in the last two years and 150 percent in the last 15 years.
• Distilleries plan to spend $630 million in capital investment over the next five years as the ad valorem “barrel tax” is offset by a corporate tax credit that distillers are required to reinvest in their Kentucky operations. This will create an additional 1,500 jobs, $43 million in payroll, and $5 million in tax revenue.
• Total capital investment will surpass $1.3 billion in projects over a 10-year period starting in 2008.
• Kentucky distillers source approximately 40 percent of all of their grain from Kentucky farms.
• The number of licensed distilling companies has tripled – from 10 to 31 in two years. That’s the most distilleries in Kentucky since the repeal of Prohibition.
• Distilling remains one of the state’s top job creators with a 4.35 spin-off factor, meaning every distillery job helps create four other jobs. Distilling now ranks second in total employment and job multiplier out of 245 industries (only animal processing ranks higher).
• Distilling industry employment is up 21 percent since 2000.
• New craft distilleries employ 127 people with salaries totaling more than $4 million. They have invested $30 million already, and plan to spend another $25 to $30 million in the next five years.

So one would think with all of these great numbers they would serve something a bit more upscale than Beam Black at a press conference. But this is Kentucky. Upscale ain’t what we’re about. But let’s enjoy the celebration like it’s the jazz age and the roaring twenties, when nothing bad ever happened to the U.S. economy.

Speaking of the roaring twenties, here’s something only rich people do: take a bath in red wine. We suppose grabbing a bunch of Two Buck Chuck and pouring it in the bathtub could also do the trick, but probably wouldn’t produce the intended results. Someone try this and tell us how it goes. [NY Mag]

On Monday, we featured a link to an interview with Balcones founder Chip Tate explaining his side of his legal travails to journalist Fred Minnick. Yesterday, Balcones ownership responded, on Fred’s blog, regarding Chip’s statements. Poor Fred. He must feel like a weird whiskey marriage counselor at this point. [Fred Minnick]

A few weeks ago we talked about this new sticklike gizmo on the market trying to Kickstart its way into the hearts of drinkers everywhere. Allegedly, the product ages whiskey faster. Overnight, actually. Gizmodo took it for a test drive, and much to no one’s surprise, Mother Nature was not fooled yet again. [Gizmodo]

And finally today, word reached us via press release that three professional golfers are, ahem, driving their way into the beer business. Freddie Jacobson, Keegan Bradley, and Graeme McDowell will launch a series of easy-drinking craft beers through their new company, GolfBeer Brewing Co. How they came up with such an inventive name — and such an underserved audience — we have no idea. Anyways, each craft beer was craftily crafted to suit each golfer’s taste profile. We’ve got the Freddie Jacobson Scandinavian Blonde Ale, Keegan Bradley’s New England Style Lager, and G-Mac’s Celtic Style Pale Ale, all of which will allegedly be on par in terms of price with other craft beers, and won’t be in the rough, with a smooth, easy finish. No word on whether Dorf will be the brand’s pitchman. [GolfBeer]