Review: Captain Morgan Tattoo Rum
For a good time, do a Google Image Search for “Captain Morgan Tattoo.” You’ll find plenty of pictures not of this spiced rum but of unique and ill-considered body art on all kinds of anatomical bits.
I’ve actually had a mini of Tattoo for years. It’s that mysterious. What’s it all about? Tattoo is a spiced, “extra dark” rum with additional flavoring agents added. It is said to have been developed as a Jagermeister competitor, and pouring a shot reveals how that works.
It’s dark to the point of near opacity, with a heady nose of citrus fruit, raspberries, and a touch of classic vanilla rum character. Promising, perhaps, but a sip offers a cacophony of flavors, from the rough rum body to the heavy allspice and clove finish. The middle is pure molasses, those citrus notes being largely drowned out by all the other stuff going on here. What’s missing? Any sort of balance. Tattoo is a mess of a spirit, almost liqueur like and just too overblown with additives to be a serious rum.
But as an ice-cold shooter to prime college kids for a night out? Well, maybe I can see where the Captain is coming from.
B- / $18 / captainmorgan.com
I tried a bottle of this 2 1/2 years ago and I’m assuming it hasn’t changed. Yuck. I remember as a kid thinking that Nerds candy placed in a glass of water would produce a delicious beverage. It did not, but had I only known to add yeast or whatever and let it ferment, maybe I could’ve produced this rum.
It’s great when you mix it with Red Bull. When it was first released I was told by the guy at the liquor store that they were targeting folks that drink Jäegermeister, specifically folks that liked drinking Jäeger bombs, because those were all the rage back then. Unlike a Jäeger bomb, Tattoo and Red Bull tasted amazing. I wouldn’t drink it to sip on or shoot, this is best in mixed drinks.