Review: Kinky Liqueur

Technically a flavored vodka (5x distilled), Kinky is a bright pink “liqueur” flavored with mango, blood orange, and passion fruit, a clear shot across the bow of Alize, Hpnotiq, and its ilk.

The look and taste are actually heavily reminiscent of pink lemonade. Of the three fruits named in the mix, the passion fruit is the most present, but it’s mostly vague, lemony citrus that dominates. It’s sweet and sour, actually not at all bad to sip on and not nearly as saccharine as the neon color would indicate.

That said, it’s not the most complex spirit, but it’d make a great addition to a fruity cosmo-class drink, or as a topper to a glass of sparkling wine.

34 proof.

B / $20 / crosbylakespirits.com

Review: AnestasiA Vodka

anestasia vodkaMuch has been written about AnestasiA to date, so I won’t belabor obvious points. This weird and wacky spirit is far from the beaten path. I’m sure there are tons of club kids who’ll find this to their liking. I found it strange to the power of 100.

AnestasiA is marketed as a “Sensational Spirit” which pleasantly tingles in your mouth. Initially I thought this meant it was a carbonated/sparkling vodka, but that’s not the case. In fact it is a flavored vodka that “consists of naturally occurring ingredients and flavorings that are commonly used in the food industry.”

That flavoring primarily appears to be a member of the menthol family. Continue reading

Review: Smirnoff Iced Cake and Kissed Caramel Vodkas

The company that brought us Fluffed Marshmallow vodka is back with more flavors that would have Rasputin rolling in his grave. Here’s what will be haunting beach bars in 2013.

For what it’s worth, my wife enthused about the dessert-drink worthiness of both of these concoctions, and in modest proportions, she might be right, although Smirnoff is really pushing the sugar to the point where I expected to see crystals of the stuff to settle out at the bottom of the bottle. Both are 60 proof.

Smirnoff Iced Cake Vodka – Imagine a child’s ultra-sugary birthday cake. Now imagine a child ate that cake and then threw up. The sweetness here is so strong it’s overpowering even to smell. One sip will coat your mouth for 15 minutes or more with the flavor of a white cake that’s been put through a blender and spiked with extra frosting (this is Iced Cake after all). You can’t taste a lick of alcohol. C+

Smirnoff Kissed Caramel Vodka – Caramel is the It Flavor of 2012, and the vodkas are coming out in droves. Equally overpowering on the nose and body, the caramel flavors here are so strong and sweet they will suck the fillings right out of your teeth and leave you quivering in a diabetic coma. As with the Iced Cake version, it’s both uncannily authentic and entirely synthetic. C

$14 each / smirnoff.com

  • SMIRNOFF Iced Cake vodka
  • SMIRNOFF Caramel Kissed vodka

Review: Alchemia Czekoladowa Chocolate Infused Vodka

This new flavored vodka brand hails from Poland, is thrice distilled from 100% rye grain, and is small-batch infused (by macerating raw ingredients instead of using flavor extracts), which leaves natural color in the spirit instead of being filtered to the usual clear. The vodkas are then finished in oak barrels, giving a little twist to the way this product is normally made, and the TransAmerica Pyramid-shaped bottle is quite striking.

The initial three flavors include wild cherry, ginger, and chocolate. We tasted the lattermost.

Chocolate infused? Imagine Hershey’s syrup given an alcoholic kick and you approach the way cola-brown Alchemia Chocolate comes across. Room-filling with its cocoa aromas, there’s a hefty vanilla kick to it, too. Everything from the attack to the finish is dazzlingly sweet, which makes it quite the surprise when you realize this is full 80-proof vodka. How much sugar has to be used to sweeten up that much alcohol I can’t fully fathom.

B+ / $29 / alchemiainfusions.com

Recipe for the Mars Landing: Red Planet Curiosity

Our friends at Campari sent us this cocktail recipe in honor of today’s Mars landing. Enjoy with your beanie on!

Red Planet Curiosity
0.75 oz Campari
0.75 oz Skyy Infusions Citrus
0.5 oz Cointreau
0.5 oz Fresh Blood Orange Puree
1 oz Fresh Lemon Sour (2 parts Freshly Squeezed Lemon Juice and 1 part Simple Syrup)
1 teaspoon Egg White
Chilled Soda Water

Shake all ingredients, except soda water, until well blended. Strain into a chilled 7 oz. Fizz glass and top with chilled soda water.

Review: Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka

Grey Goose‘s newest expression turns to a classic flavoring agent: the cherry.

This flavored vodka , known as Cherry Noir, is a bit boozy, at a stout 80 proof, which keeps many of those cherry notes on the back burner. Flavored vodka makers normally bottle at 70 proof or less, because that 5% lower alcohol level gives the flavoring agent a much bigger chance to shine.

In Cherry Noir the fruit is far stronger on the nose — bright Bing cherry aromas — than on the tongue. Here, rougher alcohol flavors dominate and the actual cherry flavor, as is common in fruit-flavored vodkas, turns bitter on the finish.

Use as a mixer. One potential recipe, courtesy of Grey Goose, follows.

B- / $27 / greygoose.com

Grey Goose Cherry Lane

1.5 Parts Grey Goose Cherry Noir
0.75 part Benedictine Liqueur
0.5 part lemon juice
0.75 part simple syrup
1 dash bitters

Mix all ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a martini cocktail glass and garnish with cherries on a cocktail pick.

Review: Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery Grogs and Vodka

Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery (aka Ye Ole Grog Distillery) is a St. Helens, Oregon-based outfit specializing in, well, grog. Many enamored with the lives of pirates have probably invoked he word grog in some fashion or another… but don’t really know what it is. So, what is it?

In the old days, grog mainly meant rum watered down either with regular water or some form of beer. Served aboard ships, it was intended to make the rum last longer during those lengthy voyages… and keep the crew from getting completely sloshed. The term has of course evolved since then. There are grogs that are basically spiced rums, grogs that are mixes of juice and booze, and grogs that mean pretty much anything in the alcoholic spirits category. And now there is this “grog.”

Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery’s product begins with grain neutral spirit feed stock that is “treated with a weathered, time-proven, natural process” that comes out of Russia. This is distilled in a pot still and used as a base for the three products below. What are they? For purposes of classification, one is a vodka (and is called such), and the two grogs fly closest to flavored vodka by virtue of their process of creation. I don’t know if names really matter, though. Feel free to just call ‘em “grog!”

Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery Dog Watch Vodka – This is essentially a re-distilled version of the above described base spirit, unfiltered, unflavored, and bottled at 80 proof. Put simply, this is unlike any vodka you’ve ever had. Everything about it screams unaged rum or even pisco: Hard-edged with a bitter body, gasoline notes, and a tough finish. A thinner version of a rhum agricole in flavor, this didn’t thrill me on its own, but I could see it working as a substitute for white rum in a handful of coctails. C / $25

Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery Good Morning Glory Grog – This spirit is sweetened with blue agave nectar, flavored with four (unlisted) natural flavors, and bottled at 70 proof. Wow, this is a different experience than the above. The nose: cinnamon and buttered popcorn. On the palate, overwhelming sweetness, which makes that cinnamon and popcorn taste more like Hot Tamales and popcorn Jelly Belly candies. Ultra-sweet, it’s difficult to handle much of this straight. C- / $25

Ye Ol’ Grog Distillery Dutch Harbor Breeze – This spirit is flavored with six flavors, sweetened with agave nectar, aged in charred oak barrels and with cinnamon (sticks in the barrel, I presume) for an unspecified length of time, then bottled at 100 proof. There’s so much going on with this that one barely knows where to start. Intense cinnamon and licorice notes on the nose are just the start. On the tongue those flavors are ramped up massively, turning into a burn-heavy root beer with a smoky, woody kick to it. This intense fruitcake-in-a-glass has more charm than its compadres, but the body is so powerful that it puts everything else to shame, even something as intense as Fernet Branca. As a dash of flavor in a cocktail this could offer a splash of something exotic. On its own, however, it’s just too wild to be overly dangerous. C+ / $30

  • Ye Old Grog Distillery Dog Watch Vodka
  • Ye Old Grog Distillery Good Morning Glory
  • Ye Old Grog Distillery Dutch Harbor Breeze

Review: Van Gogh PB&J Vodka

First off, let’s be clear: This is not a joke, and yes, “PB&J” means what you think it does. Van Gogh’s latest creation is flavored to taste like peanut butter and raspberry jelly (some naturally, some artificially), bottled in vodka format.

And let’s be frank: This really does smell and taste like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Somewhere, some flavor scientist is getting a big pat on the back from his employer. It’s really peanutty on the nose — more that kind of thick peanut butter paste you get with a Reese’s cup than a spoonful of Skippy. The jelly is in the body. Raspberry or strawberry isn’t specifically determinable here; the burn from the vodka tends to make those kind of flavors tough to tell apart from one another. At 70 proof (like all of Van Gogh’s flavored vodkas), it isn’t a heavy alcoholic character, but it’s enough to add an edge to an otherwise quite fruity body.

Of course, a vodka this wildly contrived can’t help but taste a bit artificial, and nowhere is this more evident than on the lengthy finish, which starts to turn saccharine as it lingers on the palate. It’s quite hard to shake, and even a glass of water doesn’t get rid of that feeling. But hey, PB&J sandwiches can come across that way, too.

So what could you possibly do with a vodka like this? Well, you tell me.

B / $27 / vangoghvodka.com

Cocktail Recipes for National Donut Day

Who knew? Apparently Americans need an extra reason to consume donuts, thanks to a 1938 proclamation by the Salvation Army that declared the first Friday in June to be National Donut Day.

A trip to Krispy Kreme is not required, though, to get your fix. Thanks to 360 Vodka, you can drink your donuts and get a buzz at the same time with its 360 Glazed Donut Vodka.

We’ve yet to try this concoction, but while we’re waiting for our sample, check out these cocktail ideas to celebrate this “holey” breakfast classic.

Boston Cream Donut
1 1/2 oz. 360 Glazed Donut Vodka
2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Blend with ice in a blender until smooth. Serve in a rocks glass, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.

Apple Fritter Martini
1 1/2 oz. 360 Glazed Donut Vodka
3 oz. apple juice
1 tsp. maple syrup

Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass rimmed with sugar and cinnamon. Garnish with an apple slice.

  • Boston Cream Donut
  • Apple Fritter Martini

Review: Stolichnaya Stoli Hot and Stoli Sticki Vodkas

Stoli says it created the flavored vodka category 50 years ago, and I’ve got no way to argue with that. Stoli Pertsovka (Pepper) and Okhotnichya (Honey and Herb) came out in 1962, and to celebrate 50 years of flavored vodkas, the company is reintroducing these two flavors under new names. We tried them both.

It is unclear where the flavorings are derived from; neither indicates it is natural or otherwise on the label. Both are 75 proof.

Stoli Hot Jalapeno Flavored Vodka – Stoli Pertsovka is being reintroduced with a more Western-friendly name, “Hot.” As pepper vodkas go, it is distinctly different than, say, Absolut Peppar, with which I put it head to head. Initially light on the palate, the pepper notes grow along with the kind of bitterness you get from an Amaro, almost like a root beer character along with some heavy vegetal notes, like a Thai Basil. Not too spicy, I think it is more subtle with the pepper than the 80-proof Absolute Peppar (B+), which offers more sweetness up front and a longer burn, plus some flavors of onions and tomato salsa. Absolut is less exotic, but arguably hotter. You be the judge as to which you prefer. B+

Stoli Sticki Honey Flavored Vodka – After sipping pepper vodkas, this is a great antidote, a straightforward honey vodka that’s smoothly sweet. What then to make of the intense rose petal nose, a character that’s downright perfumy. And not good perfumy, old-lady perfumy. Get past that and the honey character isn’t bad: Lightly earthy, dusty, and more mildly sweet than many honey whiskeys come across as. The finish is clean and clear, almost refreshing. But I have immense trouble with that rose petal nose. C+

each $24 / stoli.com

  • stoli hot vodka
  • stoli sticki vodka