Review: Captain Morgan Jack-O’Blast


You know how you have those neighbors that go all out at Halloween? They put their decorations up in September. Everyone gets dressed up, even the dog. They give out the full size Snickers. You know the type.

Well, I had no idea, but Captain Morgan is that family. This new limited edition expression follows in the footsteps of Captain Morgan Cannon Blast, which was designed as a Jagermeister-like shot and bottled in a faux cannonball. Jack-o-Blast, as you can see from the photo above, is bottled in a faux pumpkin! And it looks legit! It doesn’t really matter what this stuff tastes like. You can put the bottle on your dining table as a credible centerpiece for the Halloween season.

Anyhoo, there is actual liquid inside the bottle, which is described as “pumpkin spiced rum.” At 30% alcohol, it’s lower-proof than Cannon Blast even, which is likely part of why the color is so light and golden hued. On the nose, imagine a liquified pumpkin pie, heavy with cloves, ginger, and vanilla — the hallmarks of a classic pumpkin pie. The palate isn’t quite as crystal clear. It drinks foremost with cola notes, from start to finish, the herbal elements adding a layer on top of that. Quite sweet from start to finish, it manages to keep from being overblown with sugar. In fact, while that sweetness hangs in there, it’s the cloves that linger longest on the finish, though its the aroma that makes the biggest and most lingering pumpkin-like impression.

Prototypical “pumpkin everything” fans will probably enjoy this beverage a bit more than I did… but I expect more of it will end up in coffee and on ice cream than it does in shot glasses.

60 proof.

B / $15 /

Review: Wicked Dolphin Coconut Rum and Spiced Rum

Wicked Dolphin

Never mind the cringeworthy name: Wicked Dolphin is a quality rum made not in the Caribbean but in Florida (Cape Coral, specifically), where it has been distilled from local sugar cane since 2012.

Wicked Dolphin makes a white rum (not reviewed here), but it’s best known for its spiced version. Below we’ve got a review of both it and Wicked Dolphin’s coconut-flavored rum below. Thoughts follow.

Wicked Dolphin Coconut Rum – Made with real coconut water. The rum offers a fairly standard nose for this style, sweet and authentically coconut, without harsh overtones. The body offers a mild departure from the expected — with the distinctly milky, creamy notes of coconut water vs. the harsher, biting notes of more widely used coconut extracts. This makes for a fairly gentle rum in a world where not a lot of nuance is the norm, fresh on the fiish, with lightly nutty notes lingering as it fades. 60 proof. A- / $23

Wicked Dolphin Florida Spiced Rum – Tastes like Florida? (Gators and tourists?) Actually, the white rum is flavored with honey, oranges, and various spices — plus a bit of aged rum to round things out. Unlike most spiced rums, it is bottled at full proof. The honey notes are clear and striking both on the nose and palate, with a heavy cinnamon and clove character underneath. Initially somewhat bitter with heavy orange peel notes, it opens up over time as the citrus becomes juicier and more floral, lending the rum a somewhat soothing character. The finish offers a touch of sweetness, but it’s held in check by the more savory herbal notes. Definitely worth experimenting with in cocktails. 80 proof. B / $25

Review: Bacardi Tangerine Rum

Bacardi_TangerinI’ve never had a tangerine that tasted anything like this, but Bacardi Sunny Delight Rum probably would’ve gotten the company into hot water.

What we have here is an indistinctly orangish-citrus, petrol-laden rum that is simultaneously super-sweet and incredibly artificial in the way it comes across. (As always, “natural flavors” are promised, per the label.) The finish is lengthy and enduring and reminiscent of a children’s cough syrup.

Pass on this one.

70 proof.

D+ / $11 /

Review: Captain Morgan Cannon Blast

captain morgan cannon blastCaptain Morgan already has a vast command of bars around the world. Now the company is getting into the shot game with the launch of Captain Morgan Cannon Blast, “an intensely delicious shot” that comes in the cleverest packaging I’ve seen in years.

What’s Cannon Blast? “Caribbean rum with spice and natural flavors.” Isn’t that the same thing as Captain Morgan anyway? Turns out, no.

Cannon Blast’s nose is quite sweet, offering distinct notes of orange candies, a touch of cinnamon, and a bit of cherry — nothing particularly rum-like at all, actually. The body is extremely sweet — far beyond anything in a straight rum — with more of than orange candy note pervading the experience. Some mixed fruit elements come into play before the finish kicks in — pure cinnamon, and lots of it, adding a Fireball-like bite that comes on strong and lingers for at least a minute. This washes away most of the fruitier elements and leaves the drinker with quite a smoldering burn to contend with — for better or for worse. It’s not bad, but you’re definitively in “shot” territory — as intended — with all the ham-fistedness that comes with it.

As for the aforementioned packaging, Cannon Blast comes in a simulacrum of a cannonball and is etched with paint that fluoresces under black light. Shine one on the Captain and he turns into a creepy skeleton. That may not be a big deal at home, but up in da club it’s bound to help sell more than a few test tubes full of the stuff, at least in the hands of the right wench.

70 proof.

B / $16 /

Review: Plantation Rum Lineup (2015) – 3 Stars White, Original Dark, Barbados 5 Years Old, Extra Old 20th Anniversary, Old Reserve 2001, and Pineapple

Plantation 20 Anniv XO NEW - LOPlantation Rum is actually part of the French company Cognac Ferrand, and it produces over a dozen rums that are sourced from plantations all over the Caribbean and beyond. Some of these rums we’ve reviewed before, but today we’re taking a deep dive into six of the company’s offerings, including its first foray into a flavored product.

Let’s dive in!

Plantation 3 Stars White Rum (2015) – Made from a blend of various rums, filtered to clear. A clean white rum, it’s free of most of the petrol overtones that are endemic with so many whites. Here notes of banana and some coconut give this rum a lot of fruit and ample depth — which makes sense because some of the rum that makes up this expression is up to 12 years old. Very easygoing and highly mixable. 82.4 proof. A- / $17 (1 liter)

Plantation Original Dark Rum (2015) – Aged Trinidad stock. Funky on the nose — overly so — with bizarre hogo notes of green olives and feta cheese. A nutty, coffee-focused character emerges as the rum opens up on the palate, but it’s constrained by those herbal, bitter, funky flavors that really start to interfere with the big picture over time. 80 proof. B- / $17

Plantation Grande Reserve Rum Barbados 5 Years Old – Self-explanatory provenance here, in a rum that is light in color but long on character. A restrained nose offers hints of brown sugar, banana, and fresh apple, but keeps it in check. On the palate, huge coconut notes emerge, plus more banana and some pineapple notes. Fruit from start to finish: If you want the perfect rum for a pina colada, this is your guy. A huge bargain. 80 proof. A- / $16

Plantation Rum Extra Old 20th Anniversary (2015) – The “XO” bottling of Plantation comprises old stock finished in ex-Cognac barrels. A brooding sophisticate next to the fruitier style of many of Plantation’s offerings, the XO features dense leather, tobacco, dark chocolate, and coffee notes before giving way to darker fruit notes — prune, plum, and blackberry. Some tropical emerge with time, but they struggle to get through the brooding, almost fireside character. That’s not a bad thing. This is complex, old, and quite enchanting rum at its finest. 80 proof. A / $43  [BUY IT NOW FROM CASKERS]

Plantation Rum Old Reserve 2001 Jamaica – An update on the 2000 line, this single-vintage rum is pushy and funky, a cousin of the Original Dark above, writ small. It’s intense and funky, but light on its feet, folding fruit into a base that offers a heavily vegetal and pungent character. Slightly smoky, with hospital notes, it’s certainly not a rum for beginners, though one can see how it might find a home in a less fruit-forward cocktail like a Zombie or even a powerful update to a Hemingway Daiquiri. 84 proof. B / $40

Plantation Artisinal Infusion Original Dark Pineapple Rum – A pineapple-infused version of the Original Dark above. You’ll smell it right away from the second the bottle is cracked open — big, sugary pineapple notes that absolutely take over the whole affair. There’s an argument that perhaps the nose should do that — but for my money I’d rather take the more nuanced Barbados 5 Year Old (at half the price, mind you) and use that as the base for any fruity cocktails I was making. All in all, here we see juicy pineapple meet a dusting of brown sugar — and that’s really the end of the story. 80 proof. B / $43  [BUY IT NOW FROM CASKERS]

Review: Cruzan Blueberry Lemonade Rum

I’m not gonna lie. It’s over 90 degrees outside as I write this, and nothing sounds better than a glass of cold blueberry lemonade. Cruzan’s latest flavor unfortunately won’t get you there — even with a ton of ice, it’s too sweet and saccharine to recreate a boozy lemonade on its own.

At a mere 42 proof, this concoction isn’t much stronger than a bottle of wine. The nose is indistinct with citrus notes, the body pushy with liquid sugar more than anything else. Both of the label-promised elements come to play in due time: First the blueberry, which has a candied/syrupy character like you might find in a box of breakfast cereal. Then the lemony notes on the finish. Lemonade? More like Lemonheads candy.

As a mixer (with real lemonade) this might be fun… but once you get to that level, well, what’s the point?

C / $12 /

Review: Captain Morgan Grapefruit, Pineapple, and Coconut Rum

captain morgan flavors

Is the world crying out for more flavored rum? Captain Morgan thinks so, and as such it’s released a trio of new tiki-friendly rums, each naturally flavored and beyond-intensely sugared.

All three are bottled at 70 proof. Thoughts on each follow.

Captain Morgan Grapefruit Rum – Strong grapefruit notes on the nose, with a slight medicinal character underneath. The body is very sweet, with strong caramel overtones. This tends to wash out the natural tartness of the grapefruit and imbues it with heavy candylike notes. As the sweetness fades on the lengthy finish, there’s a vegetal echo, offering some incongruous notes of rosemary and sage. C-

Captain Morgan Pineapple Rum – Pineapple candy (or at least canned pineapple) gets the nose going, but the body is (unsurprisingly) all sugar. Imagine steeping pineapple slices in molten sugar, then bottling it with a touch of water and you’re not far from what Captain Morgan has come up with here. It’s lacking that veggie funk that the Grapefruit expression has, but it’s still far from anything identifiable as rum. C

Captain Morgan Coconut Rum – After all of that, I was scared to death to crack into this one for fear of being immediately put into a diabetic coma. I shouldn’t have fretted so much. While Captain Morgan Coconut is as sweet and saccharine as you’d expect, it’s restrained in comparison to the two fruit-flavored spirits that come before. This doesn’t straw too far from the Malibu formula, though it’s less tropical than that old coconut standby. The finish is surprisingly clean for a coconut vodka, and the caramel notes present in all of these rums actually complements the coconut flavor in a way that it fails to do in the other rums. Definitely the best of the lot. B

each $16 /