Review: Maestro Dobel Diamond Tequila

Even Donald Trump could learn something from the braggadocio on display at Maestro Dobel, which claims (among other superlatives), to be “the first-ever diamond tequila” … “unlike any other aged tequila” … the “result of a proprietary blending and filtration technique.” … “the liquid embodiment of my passion for tequila” … the result of “six generations of my family’s dedication to crafting the finest tequilas available” … and “a renaissance — a new way of thinking about and enjoying tequila.”

That’s a mouthful, and considering the just-released tequila costs $75 a bottle, it better stack up, eh? I put the good Maestro to the test and found it really intriguing and truly unusual in a world where many tequilas, even super-premium ones, can taste a lot alike.

Maestro Dobel is indeed a “new way” of making tequila: For starters, it’s a nearly clear, white spirit, but inside the bottle is aged tequila. At least three different aged tequilas are found in the blend inside the bottle (including reposado, anejo, and extra anejo expressions), but the spirit is then filtered to “gently expel congeners and colors from the tequila.” The how is “proprietary.” It’s kind of like the idea behind Crystal Pepsi: Flavor, yes. Color, no.

The flavor is wholly unexpected, especially if you’re not in on the whole decolorization thing: There’s vanilla, butterscotch, and woody oak where you’d normally get just the heat and vegetal notes of silver tequila. Agave is there, but understated, well mellowed by the aging process. You actually get more agave in the aroma than the taste, especially after the spirit opens up a little in the glass.

But for a blend of such well-aged tequilas, Dobel does clearly lose something along the way during all this filtration, and one can only imagine while sipping this mellow, almost “light” tequila, what the original base spirits must have tasted like. Is the colorless thing a gimmick or a real benefit to the drinker? If I feel like a million bucks tomorrow (those “expelled congeners” are what allegedly give you a hangover), that will be the real test to see whether Dobel is worth its Diamonds.

As a side note, the bottle alone deserves some discussion. It comes in an overly-tall decanter, with agave-like spikes molded into the lower portion of the glass. The base of the bottle is embedded into a built-in, metal coaster, and the label is forged from metal, too. Each bottle is individually numbered (mine is #292), dated, and signed.

Tequila fans: I understand if you can’t afford a full bottle of Maestro Dobel, but whatever you do, you need to track it down at least for a shot. You’ll be talking about it for weeks.

A- / $75 /

Taking “the Fun Out of Booze”

All of the hangover, none of the glory.

An experimental drug that blocks the euphoric feelings associated with drinking may prevent alcoholics from relapsing. The finding, the result of a mouse study at Oregon Health & Science University, could lead to human clinical trials within the next year.

Good news for alcoholics and fraternities who use the stuff to screw with pledges.

Review: Hangover Buster

Hangover remedies are legion (and of questionable utility), but the prepackaged variety has become considerably more popular in recent years. My own pre-sleep regimen of two Tylenol and a big glass of water seems to work pretty well, but is there a more “natural” way to do the job?

Hangover Buster is an Alka-Seltzer like tablet that you dissolve in water and drink after (or while) tying one on but before you call it a night. Drink it before bedtime and you’ll have no headache and no nausea come morning. What’s in the tablet? Lots of vitamins, bicarbonate, and a collection of miscellaneous additions including ginseng, caffeine, and white willow bark extract.

The flavor is lemon-lime but it’s really quite bittersweet. Combined with the effervescence I had trouble choking down a whole glass of this before bedtime. The caffeine also gave me pause. I don’t even drink bourbon and Coke after nine any more for fear it’ll keep me up. Having a shot right before bedtime didn’t seem too wise.

Fortunately, Hangover Buster didn’t keep me up any longer than normal, but it did seem to help in the morning after a longish night working the bottles. I find the taste too harsh, though, and I haven’t returned to the stuff, but perhaps that’s subjective. Would a vitamin pill, a Tums, and a ginger ale work just as well? (And cost less than $2 a dose?) Well, that’s an experiment for another day.

See also: Cheerz IntelliShot

B / $6 for a box of three tablets /

Review: Cheerz IntelliShot Supplement

Hangovers. I don’t like ’em. You don’t like ’em. Hangover remedies are legion, of course, but those with the most promise are the ones that promise you never get the hangover to begin with.

Enter Cheerz,  a little shot-sized vial of green liquid that, when consumed while you drink alcohol, promises to eliminate hangovers and provide “morning after vitality.”

You are supposed to drink a vial with every three to four “standard adult beverages,” so after three glasses of wine last night I sucked one down. First try was unrefrigerated, a mistake. Cheerz is difficult on the palate, to say the least: It’s sickly sweet like lemon-lime syrup at first, then you realize that’s to mask a severe bitterness underneath. The aftertaste is harsh, and drinking this in one big gulp (difficult due to the tiny mouth of the bottle) is the only way to do it, and the colder the better. (You can also use it as a mixer in cocktails; I didn’t try this, but it may work better than the one-slug method.)

Immediately after finishing the dose I felt nauseous. I had to lie down, in fact. The feeling passed after 15 minutes, but it was disconcerting… especially with that aftertaste lingering the whole time.

Come morning, I felt no better or worse than I normally do, but certainly not hungover in the slightest, though to be honest I didn’t drink enough for a real hangover (and rarely do). I can report that while I had trouble sleeping in general thanks to a nagging cough, I’ve been remarkably productive all day today. So maybe there’s something to this after all. Still, the taste and initial nausea might make it tough for me to take again.
What’s in Cheerz that makes it work? Succinic acid, glucose, L-glutamine, malic acid, N-acetyl L-cysteine, L-alanine, and milk thistle seed extract. I don’t know what any of that stuff means, really, but there you have it. You can read all about it on the Cheerz website (see below). Cheerz is also available in pill form.

If anyone else out there tries the stuff (especially after a heavier night of drinking), please let me know or post a comment below! I expect individual mileage may vary pretty wildly.

B- / $24 for six 1.5 oz. bottles /

cheerz intellishot