Preemptive Apology

For all whom I might offend tonight, I offer a preemptive apology in the style of these high-society Chinese gentlemen… from the year 856.

Click through for the elaborate original. Here it is translated…

Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.

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