Review: Crystal Head Vodka

Not familiar with Crystal Head, which has been a boozing sensation for weeks now?

Watch this… then continue reading the review.

So there you go. This is vodka placed in a bottle that is shaped in the form of one of the infamous crystal skulls, which have become far better known now that they made an Indiana Jones movie about them.

Dan Aykroyd sells his spirit far better than I could, so I’ll leave it to him for the fine details. The digested selling points: Made in Newfoundland, Canada from local water; quadruple-distilled (from what I do not know; guessing wheat); triple filtered through “diamonds” (Herkimer Diamonds are actually quartz, alas; several brands already do quartz filtering); and bottled in an insane decanter in the shape of a skull.

A gimmick? Absolutely, but what a gimmick! What other spirit can make shout-outs to UFOs, ectoplasm, and other planes of existence and still leave you legitimately interested in what they’re selling? (It’s all so crazy that many people have assumed the whole thing to be a joke. I took my own photo of the freshly-frosted bottle just to prove that it is indeed the real deal.)

So let’s move on to the vodka itself. Crystal Head is familiar-tasting, 80 proof, and hardly earth-shattering in its composition, but overall very good. There’s an immediate vanilla punch that reminded me of the recently-reviewed 2 Rooz vodka. A bit chalky on the palate, it goes down extremely smoothly, with some sweetness and candy-like flavors on the tongue that immediately make one think of both dessert and ghosts.  The finish is clean and crisp. There’s no medicinal flavor here at all. Really impressive.

Straight or with mixers, it’s a solid vodka. And though the whole thing feels like a put-on, what’s in the bottle is awfully impressive. The price is off-putting, but you’re paying for an eight-minute infomercial, after all.

While this vodka won’t likely “make true the things that you want to happen for yourself” (in fact, drink enough and the opposite is more likely to occur), it is categorically a damn good vodka and, if nothing else, perhaps the greatest conversation piece you can buy for your bar.

A- / $45 / crystalheadvodka.com

6 Responses to “Review: Crystal Head Vodka”

  1. Neil McAllister Says:

    For the price, I could have asked for more. The sweetness struck me right away, and not in a good way. It’s definitely drinkable, but there’s something about it that makes me think it’s a mass-market vodka masquerading as “premium.” Really nothing to write home about at all — and if, like me, you’re not into sweetness, then it wears out its welcome after a couple of glasses. I’m looking forward to emptying the fancy bottle and refilling it with some Hangar One or Ketel.

  2. lapjnaise Says:

    So you’re just going to take credit for yourself, not credit everyone else who has linked this in the passed month? SELFISH.

  3. Christopher Null Says:

    lapjnaise - Take credit for what? You lost me. How many links is a vodka review supposed to have?

  4. Edoc Says:

    I think Neil’s suggestion is a good one– refill the bottle with your favorite vodka, e.g., Tito’s.
    I already use old Chambord bottles to store my better vodkas in the freezer, so I’d jump at the oppty to upgrade to a crystal skull!

  5. Drinkhacker.com » 007 Drinks Smirnoff Once Again Says:

    [...] choice for an entry-level vodka, but I haven’t had it in a long while — distracted by crystal heads and blood red stuff. What fun to rediscover [...]

  6. AJ Says:

    I was wondering if anyone knows of any stores in the Edmonton, AB area that carries this? Or of any major chains that might have this in stock?

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